Wounded by Words

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.                            1 Corinthians 13:4-7

No one sees the cuts and bruises that are inflicted on the inside of a person from verbal and emotional abuse.  It’s hard to prove because there are no visible wounds on the outside.  Your abuser denies his actions and tells you that you are crazy. You have blown the situation out of proportion. You do not know what you are talking about and you begin to believe it. You start second guessing your feelings and once that happens your abuser has gained total control of you.

I longed to be loved unconditionally by my abuser but that never happened. His love depended on how well I behaved that day and if I did everything I was supposed to do in his opinion. If not, it might be days before he would speak to me.

God kept bringing me to the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Love is kind and not easily angered. Love wants the best for you and protects you. You can trust true love.  Once I listened to God I was able to walk away from the abusive relationship and begin to heal from years of verbal and emotional abuse.

The following poem by Connie L. Peters “Wounded by Words” has helped me as I journey to be healed by God’s word after being so wounded by my abuser’s words. 

Wounded by Words

Connie L. Peters

Wounded by words—

No gaping hole

No blood

No bruise—

Only a deep unseen slash that pierces the soul.

It is more painful than any physical laceration.

It servers,

Paralyzes,

Aborts progress, productivity, and joy,

And sabotages a fulfilled life.

Lord, heal me from this wound.

Help me speak blessings and hope in return.

God, turn this around for my good,

And for the good of the person who wounded me.

Lord, all things are possible with you.

Let your Words have preeminence,

For your Words are truth—

A cleansing wash,

A healing balm.

You speak life and healing,

Hope and truth,

Joy and peace.

Let me be

Healed by Words.

Haunted

A few days ago, a new picture was placed at the end of the hallway near my office. It looks like a window with six panes. It haunts me. Each time I look at it I am reminded of domestic abuse and the hurt of being abused. I see it every morning when I arrive at my office and each time I walk out of the office door.



I am haunted by it. But surprisingly, most people walk right by it and never notice. I have pointed it out to several people and they say, “oh yea, now I see what you mean but I didn’t notice it before you pointed it out to me.” How often do we pass by and not notice? It’s not our problem, right?

My prayer is that more groups and individuals will see the picture and chose to not walk by but to do something to help women find their voices. 

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Proverbs 3:27



 

Lenten Devotional

Emily Wake, chapel steward of devotion at the University of Indianapolis, has put together a Lenten Devotional written by UIndy students. I thought some of you might enjoy reading it. http://jeremiahgibbs.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/lenten-devotional-uindy-2014.pdf

Lenten Journey Day 2

The Daniel Plan Journal has a space to fill in my height (easy enough), weight (who wants to do that?), BMI, waist and hip measurements. I have been dragging my feet on filling in the blanks. But today I stood on the scale, OUCH, and took down my measurements. Just as I knew all along, I need to lose 30 pounds.

I am not a being good steward of my one and only body that God gave me and I’m not being a good steward to my health insurance by being overweight.  Every day I read about how being overweight sets me up for health issues down the road.

The first day went well with my eating and I jumped on the exercise bike for 20 minutes at lunch. It will be a journey of one day at a time.

Dear God, I can’t do this alone. Please be with me and help me to make the decisions that will get the extra 30 pounds off, so I will have more energy to do your will. Amen

Beginning My Lenten Journey Day 1

 ^“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

We were bought at a price. Jesus died on a cross and what have I done to honor that sacrifice? I can say that I have not been a good steward of the body he gave me.  But God wants us to honor him with our bodies, so how can I honor God with my body?

This year I am choosing to honor God by spending the forty days of lent on a journey of living a healthier lifestyle by following “The Daniel Plan” written by Rick Warren, et all. That journey will mean spending each day with my faith (reading the Bible), food (getting rid of the unhealthy food and introducing whole foods), fitness (walk four to five times a week) focus (pay attention to my plan to whole health, mind, body, spirit) and take friends with me on the journey.

Jesus knew the importance of nurturing his spirit by spending quiet time in prayer with God. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Mark 1:35 Spending time in prayer, first thing in the morning before the distractions of the day begin, will be a way that I plan to nourish my spirit during the 40 days of Lent. What are ways that you could nourish your spirit during Lent?

There is an epidemic in America. We are overweight, over stressed, and busyness is a badge of honor. I wonder if God thinks busyness is a badge of honor? But there are so many good causes and things calling for our attention. Doesn’t God want us to do all these good things? What does your body tell you?

You were bought at a great price. How do you plan to honor God with your body, the temple of the Holy Spirit?

Most Depressing Day

David, my husband, told me he read an article saying January 6, 2014, was the most depressing day of the year. “Why is that?” I asked. He responded, “people had to go back to work, the holidays are over and the bills will begin arriving soon for the overspending at Christmas. To my surprise, it had nothing to do with the 11+ inches of snow and 40 degrees below zero wind chill that we were experiencing and making me feel depressed!

Donald Miller in his book, Storyline, says we are exposed to over 3000 commercials every day. They convince us that life is supposed to be easy. They sell us on a bill of goods that aren’t true. When life doesn’t get easier, we become depressed. We’ve probably spent money we really didn’t have on products that usually cause more work than they save. And in the end we are disappointed.

Life is hard and full of conflict, disappointment, and hurt. But if we sit with the suffering and reflect on it, we can turn it around for good. That is what two mothers and their two daughters did after seeing the suffering of women and children when they went on mission trips. They came up with an idea to help empower women around the world. They began Trades of Hope, a fair trade company. They purchase products made by women at a fair market value and train woman in the United States to hold home parties to sell these fair trade items. They are turning conflict, suffering and disappointment into something good.

I became one of those women, a Compassion Entrepreneur, who sells Trades of Hope merchandise. I wanted to turn my suffering into something God meant for good by helping women get out of abusive situations. This year for Christmas most of the presents I purchased were from Trades of Hope. I also made sure that I did most of my shopping before the Advent season began so this year I could sit and reflect on the true meaning of Christmas and on my relationship with God.

During Advent I purposefully slowed down and spent time with God instead of trying to make Christmas perfect in all the usual ways of decorating, overspending on Christmas gifts and baking. I must confess the slowing down and waiting were a lot harder than it sounds. But on January 6^th it wasn’t the most depressing day of the year for me despite the snow and cold!

Are you one of those people who considered January 6^th the most depressing day? This year how can you turn your disappointment and hurt into something God meant for good?