Joy, the Power in a Word

A few years ago a good friend of mine, Sr. Jennifer, suggested I pick a word to walk with during the coming year.  I was going through a divorce at the time and my life had been turned upside down. For several days while on retreat I discerned what words spoke to me. In the beginning "freedom” seemed to be the appropriate word since I was escaping from thirty-three years of an abusive marriage. "Forgiveness" also seemed like something I should focus on. However, nothing seemed to be sticking out as a word I wanted to sit with for a year.

Beginning around the third century AD, individuals went into the desert to live so that they would not be distracted from their relationship with God and to find their true selves. These Christian hermits known as desert fathers and mothers were sought after for their wisdom.  Pilgrims ventured out to the desert to meet with the desert fathers and mothers to receive a word that they could take back with them and reflect upon.

What word would the desert fathers and mothers give to me? While sitting on the beach allowing the waves to roll over me I thought about all the blessings God had brought into my life. For years, I lived in turmoil. I knew something was wrong but I just couldn’t share this with anyone. But in the past few years, God had brought a good friend, a good job and a chance to save my spirit from sure death. These blessings had brought joy into my life once again.  Joy would be the word that I would focus on for the coming year.  I surrounded myself with things that had the word “joy” written on them and by focusing on joy it kept me from thinking so much about the hard times. 

It has been over three years ago since I spent a year reflecting on the word joy. God has truly blessed me with many moments of joy.  This year I have decided to reflect upon another word and have been giving it some thought. How about you? What word would the desert fathers and mothers give to you?

Happiness is Only Real When Shared

On December 29^th, 2012, we were married in the Hawcreek Baptist Church, a small rural church outside of Hope, Indiana.  We will soon be celebrating a year of marriage and indeed it has been a year of great happiness filled with many changes, adjustments, and celebrations. As we prepare for the Christmas season and the celebration of our first year of marriage, we are reminded that “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17.

God has given us a “good and perfect gift” of happiness with each other and we are extremely grateful. We hope that our lives have shown that miracles can happen when God is in charge. We wish you the happiest Christmas season surrounded by family and friends and thank you for being a part of our happiness. Happiness is only real when shared!

Below is the homily that Pastor Jeffrey Van Orden shared on our special day almost a year ago.

 “Happiness only real when shared.” These are the last words of Chris McCandless, the young man whose final journey was chronicled in John Krakauer’s book “Into the Wild.”

                                                                                                               

Before arriving at his profound conclusion, McCandless gave away all his possessions and set off on a solitary trek across the Alaskan wilderness – in search of happiness.  Evidently, he never found it.

But he did discover a truth that is expressed over and over again in the Biblical record:  Shared happiness is not only real, it is the state of being that God intended for us as men and women created in God’s image.

This special, shared happiness is best expressed in marriage.  And it can be life-changing.

Jesus’ first miracle, you may remember, took place at a wedding feast.  The wine had run out, and in order to help the host avoid what would have been a horrible embarrassment, Jesus – at his mother’s urging – turned jugs full of water into fine wine.

This familiar miracle is a story of transformation. Jesus took some old clay jars and rededicated them for a new purpose.  They became the container for something new and wonderful.

My prayer – our prayer – this day is for that kind of miracle to happen here at this wedding: that the traditions of our wedding celebration – the traditional vows and ceremonial acts we will perform - even the party that will follow –can be transformed to hold and celebrate the new marriage we witness today.

But even more than that, we pray that the two of you, and the relationship you have built together up to this point, can be transformed into something new and wonderful by what you do today and by the power of God’s Spirit, who we invite to be present with you, today and every day.  That you will experience the shared happiness that God has given us with this wonderful gift of marriage.

The story of water turned to wine at the Cana wedding is also the story of Jesus and of the God we know through him.  When Jesus took those clay jars and made them the vessels for something new he gave us a glimpse of God. Transforming something as ordinary as water into the abundant wine of the Kingdom of Heaven.

And so, our prayer this day is for a miracle to happen here: that among these friends and family gathered here today, the presence of the God of new life will be known to each of us.

David and Cindy, I hope this story comes true today.  I pray that you will become, together, what God intended you to be.

“Happiness only real when shared.” In the context of your marriage, this turns out to be a very hopeful statement indeed.

Merry Christmas,

David and Cindy

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

Waiting….

In the season of Advent we are waiting and preparing for Jesus’ birth. It is hard to wait. Why does God ask us to wait?

My dear friend is at the bedside of her father who is dying. He lived a faithful life as a Presbyterian pastor. He fought against Apartheid and had to flee South Africa with his family with just the clothes on their backs.  He is a good man and has lived a good life. For quite some time now, he has not known any of his family. His wife has faithfully stood by his side even though he doesn’t remember anything about her. Sunday night he had a heart attack and the family has gathered waiting with him for his death. Why does God let the family sit and wait for the inevitable? What lessons are there to take away from this waiting?

I did not get the chance to sit with my father when he died. He had a massive heart attack and died within hours. I was 12 years old. I have spent a life time trying to heal from my father’s death. However, when my grandmother was dying, the family had the chance to sit and wait with her for her death. We got to tell her how much we loved her and what her life had meant to us. Our family grew a stronger bond with each other. In the waiting, God allowed us to prepare for losing someone so important to our family. He gave us hope and a support system of family members gathered around each other. It still wasn’t easy but in the waiting God gave us so much.

In the waiting, God is preparing us. He is making us stronger. He is surrounding us with the people and circumstances that we need to help us. Pull up the rocking chair and welcome the waiting like a good friend.