“I
will take responsibility for how I allow others to treat me” is a healthy boundary
I sat for myself several years ago. I knew I
had to be the one to stop letting others control me by how they treated me.
Recently
while on retreat sitting at an outdoor chapel, I wrote in my journal, “Why the
anger?” I was feeling so angry at the world. When I paused long enough to
reflect, I heard God say, “Because you are seeking approval.” The feelings of
anger were arising from my lack of taking responsibility for how I allowed others to treat me because I was always seeking their approval. Hadn’t I worked hard to find my voice?
Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend’s book,
Boundaries When to Say yes How to Say No
To Take Control of your Life had been a lifesaver for me. It was as though I finally had permission to say no.
After reading the book, I reflected on what
boundaries I should put in place to keep me healthy. I chose the following
boundaries.
·
I will take responsibility for how I allow
others to treat me.
·
I know that my boundaries define what is me
and what is not me. It is ok to have boundaries.
·
I will listen closely to my body and my spirit
and find time to rest and keep Sabbath.
·
I will turn off my TV 15 minutes before I go
to bed and reflect on my day.
I
felt these boundaries would be a good start to help me heal and grow stronger.
But I forgot about them until I felt the anger rising up in me and warning me
about the boundary violation.
What are your healthy boundaries?
