What Fruits Are you Bearing?

My devotional this morning asked the question

“What fruits are you bearing?” 

I have been pondering that question this morning. It has brought up these questions for me to examine.

Through my words and actions

am I

bearing fruit that gives hope or despair?

bearing fruit that gives love or hate?

bearing fruit that gives light or darkness?

Bearing fruit that gives unity or division?

Instead of blaming others perhaps today you can reflect on what fruit you are bearing.

Why so Angry?

“I will take responsibility for how I allow others to treat me” is a healthy boundary I sat for myself several years ago. I knew I had to be the one to stop letting others control me by how they treated me.  

Recently while on retreat sitting at an outdoor chapel, I wrote in my journal, “Why the anger?” I was feeling so angry at the world. When I paused long enough to reflect, I heard God say, “Because you are seeking approval.” The feelings of anger were arising from my lack of taking responsibility for how I allowed others to treat me because I was always seeking their approval. Hadn’t I worked hard to find my voice?

Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend’s book, Boundaries When to Say yes How to Say No To Take Control of your Life had been a lifesaver for me. It was as though I finally had permission to say no.

After reading the book, I reflected on what boundaries I should put in place to keep me healthy. I chose the following boundaries.

·      I will take responsibility for how I allow others to treat me.

·      I know that my boundaries define what is me and what is not me. It is ok to have boundaries.

·      I will listen closely to my body and my spirit and find time to rest and keep Sabbath.

·      I will turn off my TV 15 minutes before I go to bed and reflect on my day.

I felt these boundaries would be a good start to help me heal and grow stronger. But I forgot about them until I felt the anger rising up in me and warning me about the boundary violation.

What are your healthy boundaries?

Spiritual Direction, A safe, Non-judgemental Place to Explore

Is there something I sense God is calling me to?

What are my images of God?

How do I take time to reflect on my experiences?

Who is Jesus for me?

Where am I most aware of God’s presence?

What are my deepest joys?

What questions within me keep me growing?

What are the questions that frighten me?

How am I growing spiritually?

What is my desire for God?

How do I discern the presence of God in my life?

How do I feel about my relationship with God?

What is spiritual growth and how do I foster it in my life?

What is true for me?

Who am I?

The spiritual discipline of Spiritual Direction gives one a safe, non-judgmental place to dig deep and to look closely at all the ways God is working in one’s life. It is a place to explore questions like the ones listed above.

Spiritual direction is spending time deepening one’s relationship with God. It is time set aside usually for one hour once a month. During this one hour, the person coming to a Spiritual Director referred to as “the directee” brings joys, concerns, questions, etc. to the session. The spiritual director listens closely to the directee and the Holy Spirit, asks questions, and reflects back to the directee to help the directee to discover the ways that God is present in their life. The real spiritual director is the Holy Spirit. It is not a counseling session but a safe space to explore, ask questions and ponder. It is a spiritual discipline of setting aside time to work on our relationship with God.

Spiritual direction explores a deeper relationship with the spiritual aspect of being human. Simply put, spiritual direction is helping people tell their sacred stories everyday.

—Spiritual Directors International

The Spirals of a Seashell

Have you ever paused to look closely at the spirals on a seashell?  When you get a chance to look at one, notice how the spirals begin on the outside of the shell and wind their way to the center.  

During one of my very first spiritual direction sessions my spiritual director, Annie, ran her finger along the spirals on a seashell as she talked to me about spiritual disciplines. She said, “spiritual disciplines are like the spirals on a seashell.” Continuing to move her finger around the spirals of the shell Annie pointed out that it is much harder to fall off the side of the shell the closer her finger moved towards the center and away from the edges of the shell. Annie said, “Spiritual disciplines are like the spirals on the seashell drawing us closer and closer to God.  The deeper our relationship with God becomes the easier it is to withstand the storms in our life.  When the storms of life knock us down we do not fall off the edge because we are closer to the center.”

Over time I have practiced several different spiritual disciplines. Spiritual direction, scriptural reading, and journaling have remained stable disciplines for me.  I have learned that some spiritual disciplines will work for me for a time but grow tiresome and not helpful for me in deepening my relationship with God. When that happens, I move on to something that I find more helpful at the time. 

We are all different and a spiritual discipline that works for one person might not work for another.  Take some time and try to find a spiritual discipline that will grow your relationship with God.

blessings

Cindy

https://www.facebook.com/yoursacredstorymatters

 

Love Is The Most Important Word

Love is the most important word in the English language—and the most confusing. Both secular and religious thinkers agree that love plays a central role in life.

Love has a prominent role in thousands of books, song, magazines, and movies. Numerous philosophical and theological systems

have made a prominent place for love.

              -----Gary Chapman, “The 5 Love Languages The Secret to Love That Lasts)

I first learned of the five love languages through my spiritual director, Annie.  She explained that she had learned to respect her husband more when she discovered his love language is “Acts of Service.” Her husband would often clean out her car.  She thought he was saying to her, “you are so messy and lazy that I need to clean out your car” when in fact he was showing her love through his love language “Acts of Service.”  What a difference it made for their marriage when she took the time to learn his love language and realized he was showing love, not criticism, when he cleaned out her car.

Perhaps learning your love language and the love language of others will help you. I encourage you to visit here http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ and find out your love language.

Blessings,

Cindy

https://www.facebook.com/yoursacredstorymatters

Reflecting Back In Order to Move Forward

Sankofa comes from the ancient people in the West African nation of Ghana known as the Akan. The Sankofa bird symbolizes looking back to reclaim our past so we can move forward. The Akan knew how important it was to make a critical investigation of our past in order to move forward in life.

Reflecting on my past has helped me on my spiritual journey. It has shown me places where I missed how God was right there beside me.  It has helped me to discover my true self and take off the masks I was wearing to protect me from the hurt and suffering in my life. It gave me an idea of how much I had really grown in my faith and how God had taken the hurt and suffering and turned it around for good.

Spend some time thinking about your life. On a sheet of paper put a line down the middle then on the top half of your sheet write all the positive events that have happened in your life in the order that they have happened.  Now think about all the negative, hurtful events that have happened in your life and write those across the bottom half in the order that they happened.

Spend time reflecting on these events and how they have had an impact on your life.  Are you seeing any patterns? Is there a theme running through your story? How have the negative events turned into a time of growth? How has God used your negative life events for good? Where are you seeing God at work in your story? As you reflect on your story have you found things that have been buried in your heart?

Catching God in our Every Day, Ordinary Life

The spiritual discipline of Examen is an ancient spiritual practice that can be found in St. Ignatius of Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises and was often used in the early Church. The practice of Examen is taking time to pause and reflect on the events of the day. Did you detect God’s presence during the day? Did you get a sense of God’s direction for you? What emotions did/are you having today? What can you let go of?

I read a book called Sleeping with Bread by Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn and Matthew Linn exploring the spiritual practice of Examen. I was drawn to their practice of sitting as a family at the end of the day and asking the questions “What am I most grateful for?” and “What am I least grateful for?” 

I decided to set my phone alarm to go off at 8:30 p.m. each evening. When the alarm goes off across the screen of my phone it says “What am I most grateful for? What am I least grateful for?” The first night it went off, my husband and I were walking out to the car from shopping. It sparked a good conversation between us. The reminder alarm caused us to pause and really examine our day.  We had so many blessings that day that might have gone unnoticed if we had not been reminded to pause and remember.

Perhaps you will find the spiritual discipline of Examen a good practice to remind you of all the ways God is right there in your every day, ordinary life.

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Pause and Let Your Soul Catch Up

Last year our student ministry leadership team here on campus said Sabbath is a spiritual discipline they find the hardest to practice. In response I spent last summer reading and researching to find some ways to help us practice the spiritual discipline of Sabbath. 

“Pause and Let Your Soul Catch Up” was born from this time of reflection.  Over and over again I notice how things get out of hand when we become so busy, so overwhelmed that we stop pausing long enough to let our souls catch up. In my own personal life I find that I get grouchy when I do not take a time of Sabbath. When I do not pause and let my soul catch up I do some really “stupid” things (sorry grandchildren I know stupid is not a good word to use but nevertheless they are stupid things that some times hurt others).

Today I suggest we all pause and let our souls catch up so we stop doing the “stupid” things that so often hurt others. Stop and reflect on your actions. If you took time to really pause and let your soul speak what would it say?

p.s. I highly recommend reading “An Unhurried Life Following Jesus’ Rhythms of Work and Rest” by Alan Fadling. When Jesus was here on earth he did not run himself ragged but gave us an example of a rhythm of work and rest. Jesus often paused and prayed and let his soul catch up. Jesus is the example of the type of person I want to be. How about you? What example are you following?

You Can Do This Hard Thing

You can do this hard thing
You can do this hard thing
It's not easy I know
But I believe that it's so
You can do this hard thing

These lyrics  written by Carrie Newcomer kept repeating in my head this past week as I prepared to journey with my mother through this hard time. We all watched as her priced possessions accumulated over seventy years were sold at an auction. We also watched as the house that she had raised her three children, mourned the loss of her husband, our dad, been a part of three marriages of her children along with two divorces of her children, the birth of seven grandchildren, and thirteen great grandchildren was sold at the auction. This was a hard thing to do for all of us.

Mom has not lived in the house for over a year and a half because of her failing health. It was not practical to keep paying for all the upkeep to keep this house for storage of things when mom could use the money to pay for other important needs. But even though it was the practical thing to do it was not the easy thing to do.

The cleaning out process began about a year ago as I would take mom up to visit the house and we would look through her things trying to decide what to do with them. We were often distracted by the memories and stories as we discovered an old picture or item that reminded us of the past.  What a gift that God gave us to have this time and the strength he gave us to do this hard thing.

As much as I wanted to escape the pain, I knew that we would have to do this hard thing. God carried us through the pain. The next time you face trials of any kind know “You can do this hard thing” and do not try to escape the pain but let the pain transform you. God will be right there beside you, or if necessary, He will carry you.

What I wish I Could Have Told my 21 year old self

It has been such a long time since I was 21 but as someone getting ready to turn 61 here are some things I wish I could have told my 21 year-old self.

·      God only made one of you and He loves you just as you are.  You are God’s beloved. So work hard to be your authentic self, not someone the world tells you to be.

·      Only God can fill that hole in your soul.  No one on this earth can love you in the way that God loves you so don’t spend time trying to find someone on earth to fill that job.

·      And because you want to be able to be your authentic self you have to allow others to be their authentic self. We can’t control or change anyone so if you think you can change someone to fit the way you think they should be, think again.

·      Today is all you are really promised. Use is wisely to do good just where you are.  Offer a smile and a helping hand to those you meet today whether a friend, a stranger or an enemy.

·      Live simply and be grateful for what you do have.

·      Life is hard. There will always be suffering and struggles but you can choose to live in joy despite those struggles. You can grow from the suffering.

·      “Jesus says, ‘Today we will try again.’” Remember that each day you can start anew.  Tomorrow is gone so today choose to live in the moment and try again to live the way Jesus asks us to live.

·      Celebrate and remember to play. I think I have often forgotten the importance of celebrating and playing.  I have taken things too seriously.

·      Listen to others’ stories and learn from them.  Tell your story often to help others on their journey.

·      Pause often and let your soul catch up.

·      Love. Love God, love yourself, love others.  Love heals all things.