“Day by day remind
yourself that you are going to die.” RB 4.47
Last May
when I became an Oblate candidate with Our Lady of Grace Monastery, little did
I know how much this part of the rule would become so much of my every-day
life. Remind yourself daily that you are
going to die. And don’t forget to remind yourself those you love dearly will
die some day, too.
In June my mother-in-law fell and
broke her collarbone and cracked her ribs.
It began an almost daily pilgrimage from Indianapolis to Columbus to
check on her at the nursing home rehab center.
We would get off work, make a sandwich to eat in the car, make the
hour-long trip, stay with her for several hours and get back home about 10-11
p.m. just to turn around and do it all again the next day. Each day she would tell us she just wanted to
die and why didn’t God take her. She felt she had lived a long-life and she was
ready to go. In August she was released to go home and it was nice to see her
back home with some help.
My husband had been diagnosed with
kidney disease a few years ago and his number had remained steady but in the
fall, his number fell and the kidney doctor started talking about kidney
transplant, dialysis and setting up doctor’s appointments every two months to
monitor his kidneys. We began to talk about what early retirement would look
like for him.
For over twenty years my husband
cared for an elderly neighbor. She had become a close friend and been with him
through some pretty hard times before we met and were married a few years ago.
In October we received a phone call from the nursing home that she was nearing
death and she passed away. My husband
had to say goodbye to a very dear friend who died without any living
relative. My husband had been her only
loyal and devoted friend.
In November my husband gave his two
weeks notice and would retire on December 2nd. He had worked for the same company for 39
years (six months shy of 40 years). The
company was going through a buy out and everything was in turmoil. He walked out of a place he had gone to every
day for 39 years without any proper good bye.
It seems loyalty to a company is not a valued quality in today’s world.
That very same day my mother-in-law
returned to the emergency room this time with a perforated colon and
the prognosis was grim. One doctor suggested we place her on hospice care
immediately. A surgeon gave her 20%
chance of living with a drain placed to drain out the infection. After a week in the hospital, she was moved
to nursing home rehab. Almost three months later she has survived two rounds of
the terrible bacteria called C Def and has beaten the odds.
In January my brother called me one
day at work and told me our mother had fallen and was unable to get up. We brought her to the emergency room and she
was diagnosed with a urinary tract and blood infection and spent a week in the
hospital. The day we were bringing mom to rehab, we received the news that our
cousin’s son had been killed. He was in his thirties with an eight-year-old
daughter and a two-year-old son.
As mom prepares to leave rehab the
day after her 87th birthday, we are awaiting the death of mom’s
93-year-old sister who has been suffering from dementia and only has a few days
left to live.
It has been a tiring year and
filled with dying to the way life used to be. I really do not know how people
without faith can withstand the storm.
Every day is precious and it may be
your last so “Day by day remind yourself that you are going to die” and then
live each precious moment loving those God has placed in your path. And one day….”He will wipe every tear from
their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the
old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4 (NIV)
