Life is Hard. Always Has Been, Always Will Be. Our Attitude Makes All the Difference.

Growing up we had a sandbox in our back yard. I think it began with some sort of boundaries and then my mom got tired of trying to keep the sand in those boundaries and just had the truck deliver sand and pour it around the maple tree in the back yard. It was the meeting place for our neighborhood. Life was good in our sandbox in Hope, Indiana, where we were loved and nurtured by our families and neighborhood.

We often went to our grandparents farm, my mom’s parents, about ten minutes from our house in town where we shared meals and working in the garden with our extended family.  I hated snapping green beans back then but now I often remember those times fondly because we all sat on the porch together telling stories and snapping beans. We were loved and nurtured by our family on that farm.

This past week I sat around the table with my 94-year-old uncle, 93 year-old aunt, 92 year-old aunt, my 86 year-old mom and three of their first cousins. Wow I hope I have inherited some of those genes! We sat and shared many stories of their time of growing up and I am reminded that life is hard. It always has been. It always will be. It is our attitude that makes all the difference in how we live our life.

I think the first time I realized that life is really hard is when two weeks before my 13^th birthday my dad had a massive heart attack and died. My brother was a marine fighting in Viet Nam. My little brother was six and now my mom was a single mom. I can’t begin to imagine how hard that was for my mom and my brothers.  What I do know is that my world was forever changed and that I would spend years trying to heal from the loss of my father. I made many mistakes in my search to heal from this loss.

One of the easiest ways for us to keep life simple is to remember three G’s for a deeper and more solid faith: Grieve fully, feel Gratitude profoundly, and be humble enough to do the Grunt work! That is it, really. It is that simple and that hard. We need to stay open enough to feel the grief of those who have died or left, we need to never forget the gratitude for all the mercy we have been given, and we need to always just do the grunt work and not complain about it! Sometimes when we try to explain it more, we just dilute the message. And the message is simply Love Heals.

An Excerpt from Letters from the Farm  Becca Stevens

Several years ago I chose to no longer be a victim and to begin to live life with an attitude of forgiveness and gratitude. Many blessings have come these last few years. But just when I think life will not be hard, I am again reminded that life is hard. It always has been. It always will be. It is my attitude that will make a difference in how I live my life. 

“This is the day the Lord hath made. Let me be glad and rejoice in it.”

More Wisdom from the Apple Tree

Wisdom From The Apple Tree

Uproot Bad Habits.

To my Grandchildren

Removing the Masks

For a big part of my life I have been hiding behind masks. I hide behind masks because I am a people pleaser and I want everyone to love me. I also hide behind masks because I have been deeply hurt by events in my life.

A few years ago I got tired of wearing masks so I decided to start taking them off. I spent time digging underneath the reasons for wearing the masks. This process has not happened overnight but has been a journey of discovery. We often wonder why but we never take the time to journey inside.  I recommend this beautiful pilgrimage of finding your True Self.

Some times I might put a mask back on. But now I am aware when I put it on. I spend time reflecting about why I had the need to hide behind the mask. The wisdom from removing the masks and acknowledging when I put one back on has helped me to grow my relationship with God and with others.

What masks are you wearing? What would it feel like to begin to take them off and discover your True Self?

Sharing My Story

This past year at the University of Indianapolis I had the privilege of reviving a series called "Sharing My Story." Students, faculty and staff shared their stories of God's call in their lives.  Each person that shared their story loved the practice of reflecting over their life and being able to share their story. What a gift it was for them and for all of us who got to hear their story. 

One of the stories was titled "God is Good All The Time." After the faculty member ended his story and asked for questions, one student stated that she wanted a part 2 of his story. She wanted to know how he could say God was good all the time after he had shared the terrible things that had happened to him in life. He explained that it had been a journey that did not happen over night.

As a Spiritual Director it is my job to help others tell their sacred stories by listening and giving tools that can help them discover their sacred stories.  I'm working on a program for this upcoming year that will provide ways of putting together our stories and help to go deeper on the journey.

A timeline is a good place to start. So if you are interested in beginning the process of reflecting over your life, I hope this will give you a place to start.