“Day by day remind yourself that you are going to die.” RB 4.47

“Day by day remind yourself that you are going to die.” RB 4.47 

            Last May when I became an Oblate candidate with Our Lady of Grace Monastery, little did I know how much this part of the rule would become so much of my every-day life.  Remind yourself daily that you are going to die. And don’t forget to remind yourself those you love dearly will die some day, too.

In June my mother-in-law fell and broke her collarbone and cracked her ribs.  It began an almost daily pilgrimage from Indianapolis to Columbus to check on her at the nursing home rehab center.  We would get off work, make a sandwich to eat in the car, make the hour-long trip, stay with her for several hours and get back home about 10-11 p.m. just to turn around and do it all again the next day.  Each day she would tell us she just wanted to die and why didn’t God take her. She felt she had lived a long-life and she was ready to go. In August she was released to go home and it was nice to see her back home with some help.

My husband had been diagnosed with kidney disease a few years ago and his number had remained steady but in the fall, his number fell and the kidney doctor started talking about kidney transplant, dialysis and setting up doctor’s appointments every two months to monitor his kidneys. We began to talk about what early retirement would look like for him.

For over twenty years my husband cared for an elderly neighbor. She had become a close friend and been with him through some pretty hard times before we met and were married a few years ago. In October we received a phone call from the nursing home that she was nearing death and she passed away.  My husband had to say goodbye to a very dear friend who died without any living relative.  My husband had been her only loyal and devoted friend.

In November my husband gave his two weeks notice and would retire on December 2^nd.  He had worked for the same company for 39 years (six months shy of 40 years).   The company was going through a buy out and everything was in turmoil.  He walked out of a place he had gone to every day for 39 years without any proper good bye.  It seems loyalty to a company is not a valued quality in today’s world. 

That very same day my mother-in-law returned to the emergency room this time with a perforated colon and the prognosis was grim. One doctor suggested we place her on hospice care immediately.  A surgeon gave her 20% chance of living with a drain placed to drain out the infection.  After a week in the hospital, she was moved to nursing home rehab. Almost three months later she has survived two rounds of the terrible bacteria called C Def and has beaten the odds.

In January my brother called me one day at work and told me our mother had fallen and was unable to get up.   We brought her to the emergency room and she was diagnosed with a urinary tract and blood infection and spent a week in the hospital. The day we were bringing mom to rehab, we received the news that our cousin’s son had been killed. He was in his thirties with an eight-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son.

As mom prepares to leave rehab the day after her 87^th birthday, we are awaiting the death of mom’s 93-year-old sister who has been suffering from dementia and only has a few days left to live.

It has been a tiring year and filled with dying to the way life used to be. I really do not know how people without faith can withstand the storm. 

Every day is precious and it may be your last so “Day by day remind yourself that you are going to die” and then live each precious moment loving those God has placed in your path.  And one day….”He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4 (NIV)