"Shadows are the stories we do not like about ourselves....Everyone around us sees them, but we don't see them ourselves." Until we welcome in our shadows and acknowledge them we will repress them and project them on to others. When you notice a trait or a feeling that really bothers you in someone else, take a close look because it could be your shadow.
We despise shadows, we overlook them and explain them away. We are embarrassed by them. If you think of yourself as a "nice person" you try really hard to repress any mean thoughts or feelings. I am looking closely at my feelings when conflict arises in me when I am interacting with others and asking myself "Where do I see this in me?"
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